The Center of My Circle

 

Kuilima Cove, Hawaii

The master sees things as they are

Without trying to control them.

She lets them go their own way

And resides at the center of the circle.

Lao Tzu

Sundays, how I love them. Everything about them I look forward to. From my long run in solitude to the first cup of coffee, to the sunny afternoons that are usually spent as a family doing something fun. (Today snorkeling at Kuilima Cove and Mexican food, yummy!) Best of all is the time for reflection. It’s been a long week, but a good week. Busy, but full of newness and promise. I am slowly, painstakingly slowly accepting the absolute flexibility that this new lifestyle requires and sometimes downright demands. (I don’t recall it being so hard the last time round when Mike was in the Air Force, but sleep deprivation and lack of ability to shower without a child in tow could be making it hazy.) I had a girlfriend back in Virginia who always said that, “If you know and love a military spouse buy them alcohol.” I used to laugh. I don’t find it so funny anymore.

Not because I have an exceedingly huge need to buy alcohol. (Although there are somedays that the pineapple wine at the mini mart looks pretty good.)  But because it strikes a bit of a tender spot. We (as military spouses) have two choices as our spouses enter and exit our lives on a dime. We can either A) Make our significant others exceedingly miserable by complaining and making them feel bad that they have to go away. Or B) We can suck it up and accept it for what it is and enjoy them when they are around. 

For the most part I pick B. Though there are about three days out of the month that I pick A, I’ll admit it. I’ve thought a lot about Lao Tzu this week. A lot about this quote in particular and applied it to this whole “accepting” process. Nope, I am by no means going to confess that I am a new Zen master. Quite the contrary, not even one tenth of my pinkie finger. But I am, as Lao puts it, at the center of my circle seeing things (hopefully) as they are. Noting them, and then letting them pass by. I have noticed this week that no matter what the day brings, if I start the day out in quiet contemplation my whole outlook changes. If we start our school day out with a Dharma reading or mandala coloring, and a three minute meditation together, the day goes so much better. So here’s to another week of motherhood, of being the perpetual student, the military wife, and the all around fix it and make it better lady. I hope that you had a lovely Sunday.